Maybe I’m crazy, maybe you’re crazy, maybe we’re crazy

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The above photo shows the entirety of President Obama’s latest War on Terror/drones/GTMO speech and a few of my notes. After reading it I thought, what if he hadn’t given that speech this past Thursday.

Instead I want you to imagine him confidently strolling up to the podium, staring dead into the cameras, and then, right as he’s about to speak, he pauses. He loosens his necktie and bends down, quietly slipping off one of his Johnston & Murphy loafers. All of the journalists in the air-conditioned room look on in bewildered silence. Standing to reclaim his pose at the podium, he puts his shoe to his ear and nods. Now he’s backing away. He stops, gets down on all fours and crawls into the corner where he spends the next half-hour going back and forth between sniffing the curtains and calmly intoning some Vedic chant over and over and over.

I propose to you that had he done all of that, he would have been more sane than the man that stood up in front of the country and read the speech that he read. What he got up and read was a thirty minute flight of fancy full of historical lies, half-truths, fantasies, non-sequitors, and proposals so non-sensical that the only thing you can do is laugh (i.e. he’s tasked AG Eric Holder with looking into government overreach concerning the AP scandal, I.shit.you.not).

I have more I want to say on the specifics of the speech but there’s soooo many different angles one could take. I’ll be back shortly with more or I’m gonna go open a vein. Hopefully the former.

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About newcrownvic

Will return to.
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